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But it's still probably not an acceptable topic to bring up at brunch. Same goes for poop. Everyone has a favorite, right?
Mine's a Neutrogena microdermabrasion wand with the exfoliating pad ripped off. Sonicare toothbrushes can, however, be disappointing. The feeling of relief that washes over your body after you successfully extract an ingrown pubic hair is probably life's greatest feeling that can be shared with absolutely no one else ever.
I have a single chin hair, which I once measured before plucking it. It was one inch long. Does admitting this on the internet mean that I'm no longer eligible for any political jobs?
And not just because you forgot to bring your phone in with you when you went to the bathroom but also that. You know, the piece of gum that's been knocked out of its wrapper by random purse crap?
The kind that you'd act super disgusted about and make a big show of throwing out if someone else were there? Admit it: when you are all alone, you caress your last-shaved-five-days-ago calves lovingly, as if they were a beloved house pet.
Dudes, you are not the only one who stick your hand down your pants in a non-sexual way while you're watching TV. This is your notice.
Sometimes just around the bra band area; sometimes all over the boobs themselves, if you've gotten really sweaty that day. Way more pleasurable than it should be.
Or a whole package of Oreos. Or most of a pizza. Then falling asleep next to the plate; then looking at the evidence in the morning with an air of shock and confusion, like you have no idea what happened.
Who ate garlic knots in your bed last night? Probably aliens! It's the only reasonable answer!
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